Between Us
by SlvrSoleAlchmst1
Summary: [Hinted shounen ai: Hikaru x Kaoru. Oneshot] A third person has come into the world they tried so hard to keep isolated. Kaoru knows both of them need to break free of their limited illusion, but can he sacrifice his own feelings for Hikaru's sake?


_A/N: I've been dead in love with Ouran for a while, but I've mostly been lurking and letting other fandoms own me. This is my first attempt of what I hope will be many more contributions to the Ouran fic world. Criticism would help greatly. xP_

Hikaru's honey-tinted eyes were focused on the rumpled white sheets of their bed. Kaoru watched in silence as his twin strained to extract some semblance of meaning from the blank surface, but finally he laid a soft hand on his mirror's shoulder.

"Hikaru." Kaoru made sure to whisper the name, lest he startle his identical image out of his inner reverie.

The opposite boy blinked, turning to face his counterpart with wide eyes. He didn't offer an explanation, but he looked apologetic.

"It's no good to just think about it, is it?" Kaoru met the gaze of the eyes that matched his, and Hikaru sighed in response.

"Haruhi is…"

It wasn't difficult for the calmer twin to read the thoughts of his overwrought other half. "I know. You should do something." A jolt seemed to pierce his chest, but he ignored it. His primary concern was Hikaru, who was struggling with strange, foreign notions of his own feelings, and Kaoru was determined to help lighten the burden.

"Aren't you jealous, Kaoru?" Hikaru did not turn to look at him as he posed the unexpected question.

The other twin let out a stricken breath, audible to none but himself, and the pain in his chest tightened. "Of course not, Hikaru," he managed with a tiny grin "Why would I be?"

The addressed boy squinted his eyes shut, careful to keep his back towards the smiling male to avoid detection. His hand closed roughly around a clump of their rumpled sheets, and Hikaru gritted his next words through clenched teeth.

"She's changing everything between us," he forced, with more emotion than he'd intended. "I… I don't want us to…" he trailed off, uncertain of the words he was trying to find.

It was Kaoru's turn to go wide-eyed. "Hikaru…"

"The Host Club has been different ever since she's arrived. And so have we." Hikaru ran a hand through his melon-hued hair, averting his eyes and glaring at the pillow, an indignant flush finding its way to his cheeks.

The opposite twin felt helpless, caught in the jagged whirl of his counterpart's emotions. "But you like her, Hikaru," he broadcasted simply.

The observation had been innocent, but suddenly Hikaru experienced a surge of rage. He spun around, seizing his twin's delicate hand and squeezing it hard. They were nose-to-nose, Kaoru's eyes round with shock and Hikaru's narrowed in frustrated anger.

"But it's not possible," he shouted, his grip on his sibling's hand trembling, "I can't be beginning to like her. She… She was just supposed to be our toy, Kaoru!" He sagged in defeat as his fury fled, and then rested his head on the other male's shoulder, where he fought back a growl of agitation.

The calmer twin leaned back, fixing his light eyes on the ceiling. "But it's no good to lie to yourself, Hikaru."

Honey-tinted eyes closed as dizziness threatened to overcome him. "Why won't you just tell me that you're jealous?" The inquiry came out a desperate, weary plea.

Kaoru sighed and shifted, but the other did not remove his head from his shoulder. "Because then it would be too easy for us to go back to what we were."

The statement pierced the opposite male like a multitude of needles, and Hikaru drew away from his twin with a sharp jerk. He buried his face in his hands.

"She's ruined everything we had," he decided.

It was Kaoru's turn to go stiff with anger. "She's made us stronger," he retaliated, refusing to yield. "Tamaki… the Host Club… those things helped, but they weren't enough. Haruhi is enough, Hikaru. That's why I can't tell you I'm jealous." He paused. "I'm grateful. And I want you to experience something outside of this limited illusion."

Hikaru remained mute.

"Do you really want us to go back to how things were?" Kaoru pressed. "It was lonely. And besides, the world isn't like that. People can't live by shutting everyone out." His voice exited his lips smoothly, rationally, yet he burned inside, loathing – fearing - the very natured of what he was suggesting.

"It wasn't lonely," Hikaru murmured. "I had you."

The aggressive twin's collected counterpart had to struggle to beat back the rough pounding in his chest, the flutter in his stomach. "You had _only_ me," he fought, but his voice shook.

"And that was all I needed!" came the passionate response.

At once, Kaoru felt the sensation of his twin's familiar arms about him, as he was hauled forward and locked in a quaking embrace. He allowed himself to relax. He closed his eyes and cherished the warmth of the body that was identical to his, the strength of the person that was holding him so close.

Hikaru rested his chin atop his look-alike's head, gnawing on his lower lip while his mind whirred in different directions. He let his fingers filter through his twin's silky hair, his heart pounding as he refused to relinquish his hold.

"Hikaru…" Kaoru's fingers closed tightly around a handful of his sibling's shirtfront.

Finally, Hikaru let out a long, slow breath. "We have to let her come between us, don't we?" he acknowledged, his words bitter to match the sour taste of foreboding he felt on his tongue. "For the good of us both. It's like you said, right? We have to stop worrying about each other so much, otherwise we'll never…" The words died on his lips the moment he realized his other half was trembling with silent sobs.

"Kaoru?"

The opposite male didn't answer. All Hikaru could do was shut his own eyes against the world and hold the fraught boy tighter.

_A/N: Uggh. It is so ridiculously difficult to differentiate between the two of them in the text. I feel like to avoid confusion, I'm using their names way too much. "Hikaru" this and "Kaoru" that all over the place. But just using description is hard because they LOOK THE SAME. Any hints on how to juggle this? How bad was my attempt? Any confusion? Man oh man._


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